Reality Check
by ta1nt3d1uv
Summary: Post DMC. Somehow Captain Jack Sparrow ends up in our world...the real world. One where he's only a fictional character in a movie. Uh oh. By Rach and Jen.
1. Magical Boxes

REALITY CHECK

ch. 1: Magical Boxes

**Disclaimer- **I don't own anything, except what I do own, which is mine. Get it? Got it? Good. Don't sue me.

--

"Not so bad...'ello Beastie..." with those last words, Jack jumped into the  
mouth of the Kraken--sword held high.  
--  
"Rum is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete  
scoundrels!" Marie looked around to make sure nobody had heard her  
shamelessly quoting her favorite movie. She knew nobody had, not only  
because she was home alone but because she was in her own "area" of the  
house. Rarely did anyone venture upstairs--anyone being her mother and  
mother's boyfriend. She turned off the movie. Although it was her favorite  
movie, she had seen it far too many times. Even more so after she'd seen the  
second movie. Marie couldn't wait for Dead Man's Chest to come out on  
DVD--or for the third one to be in theaters. She was counting down the days.  
Suddenly, there was a flash of light. She started counting, as she always  
did when there was lightening--it was a measurement of how far away a storm was.  
"One...two...three..." there came a large booming sound.  
Marie seemed satisfied and turned the television back on to watch some  
not-so-quality TV.  
"There are little people in that box!" came a man's voice, causing her to  
jump.  
"Oh dear lord!" She looked up and saw everyone's favorite pirate--Captain  
Jack Sparrow.  
"How did you get little people in that box?" he walked over to the  
television, eyes wide.  
"Uh..Jack...Captain...How did you get here, exactly?" she asked, confused  
and startled.  
"You know me?"  
"Yes, I'll explain later, but first--what is the last thing you remember?"  
"The Kraken. I must be dead. So this is the afterlife then, eh?" Jack looked over Marie, seemingly pleased with the company.  
"Not exactly, no. You're not dead.You're actually quite famous though."  
A smirk showed on his face.  
"Yes. See...that box allows for us to see shows and movies, which are much  
like plays...and...you're from a movie."  
"Uh huh." he nodded once as if he understood. "I don't understand."  
"I didn't really think you would," she sighed.  
Jack walked towards an open door--Marie's bedroom door.  
"Don't do that!"  
"What?"  
"Don't go in there. That's my bedroom."  
He looked at a doodled name on the door, "Marie."  
"Yes."  
Jack turned his attention back to the TV, which now had a commercial for  
Dead Man's Chest. "How exactly does this work?"  
At a loss for words Rachel spoke, "Electricity...wires and such.  
Uh...Brilliant people made it. Uh...with...Magic!" _I only lied a little_...  
He watched the TV for an hour as she got online. Marie only told one  
person--her friend Jen. She knew that nobody else could sanely appreciate  
Jack's presence..or of course believe her.

_Jen! You won't believe this, but Jack is sitting on my couch watching TV!  
Captain Jack! Come over when you get this!  
3 Marie_

"What is _that_?" Jack motioned towards the computer screen with one of his characteristic hand gestures.  
"Mine."  
"Aye, obviously...but what is it and what does it do?"  
"My computer. It's another technology thing. I use it to communicate with  
friends and read stuff."  
He gave her a strange look of bewilderment.  
"It's magic, just like the TV--er, other box." _How the heck does one  
explain these things_?  
"Ah...and what do ye read?"  
"Uh, fan fiction...stories about...you..." _Uh oh. _  
His eyes got wide with excitement, "Can I see some?"

----

**Author's Note**- I didn't realize how short this chapter was! Wow. Sorry. Unless you like short chapters... I'll try to make the next one longer. Furthermore, please review.


	2. Don't Shoot

**Reality Check**

_Chapter Two: Don't Shoot_

_------_

"Uhm...I don't think that's really a good idea," Marie turned off the monitor.

"Why not?"

"Because, you'd probably be scarred for life...or something."

Her phone rang, causing Jack to pull out his pistol.

"Don't shoot my phone!" she grabbed the portable, "Hello?"

"Hey, what's this I hear about Captain Jack?" Jen sounded amused through the phone.

"He's here, really. Come over and you'll see..." She paused, watching Jack try to figure the computer out, "Hurry up...I have to go...Jack's getting into stuff. Bye!"

She hung up and looked over Jack's shoulder. He didn't have to do much because there was already some open fan fiction on the desktop.

The first story he looked at was his last--because it was slash. "Oh sweet mother and child! What are Will and I doing?" he tried to get out of it but didn't know how.

Once again, Marie turned off the monitor, "Look...I have to take a shower and _you_ have to stay out of trouble."

"Shower?"

"Aye, shower. A modern form of bathing." Marie looked around the room trying to find something to occupy his time, "Oh! You can watch a movie! From Hell is back in time a bit...probably the closest to your time besides your movie. I think you'll like it."

He sat on the couch and watched her put the movie in, "How often do ye shower?"

"Every day," Marie said, pressing play.

"I'm sure ye don't need it."

"Says the pirate who doesn't bathe," she walked into her bathroom and locked the door. _You can never trust a pirate,_ she thought.

Jack watched the movie, which he found quite interesting--especially since he bore a striking resemblance to Inspector Abberline.

Suddenly, Marie's off-key singing caught him off guard, "Or, was it God who choked? Running late, no no...he called in! The hospices, a relaxing weekend getaway where you're a cut above...all the rest...sick and sad patients, on first name basis...with _all_ the top physicians... Prescribed pills, to offset the shakes, to offset the pills...you know you should...takkkkeeee it a day at a time."

-----------

About ten minutes--and three songs--later, Marie walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Jack smirked at her. He stood, blocking her bedroom off from her.

"Jack, get out of my way."

"Or else?"

"I'll make a eunuch outta you, savvy?" she smiled at this, showing that she would be more than happy to do it.

He stepped out of her way, allowing her to enter the bedroom and then turned as if to follow her. Marie then slammed the door in his face.

"Fine, I'll just wait out 'ere then," he sat in front of the television yet again.

-----------

Another ten minutes went by, and then Marie walked out of her room. She was wearing a green not-quite-off-the-shoulder top and blue jeans. Also, she had on her old pirate hat just for kicks and giggles.

Jack looked her up and down, noticing quite a difference, "Ye clean up nicely. And nice hat."

"Thanks. It's soft. Touch it," she handed the hat to the captain.

She motioned for him to enter her room, and he followed.

Once in her room, Jack looked around. She had a poster of he and Will, as well as a collage that included them and some other people he'd never seen before. Some of the pictures of him didn't quite look like him.

"Johnny Depp."

"Eh?"

"Johnny Depp...that's who those pictures are of. It's you, only not."

He turned his attention to what looked similar to a piano, "How do ye get a piano so thin?"

"Uh...it's a keyboard. It's electric...which in case you didn't already notice is magic."

"Ah..."

-------

Jen ascended the stairs, expecting nothing. Once she was on the landing, she saw a sword on the couch but thought it was just Marie's from Halloween. _What is she up to?_

"Marie...what's up?" she entered her bedroom to see Captain Jack, "HOLY SH-"

"I know! It's awesome isn't it?" Marie grinned at her friend.

Jen stared in awe at the Captain, who was currently singing along and dancing to Senses Fail "Rum is for Drinking", not noticing her yet.

"Is he real?"

"Of course he's real."

"No, I mean like...really real." She went up to Jack and poked him a few times in the chest. Startled, he quickly pulled out his pistol and pointed it at her. She screamed and grabbed onto Marie, holding on to her for dear life.

"Jack! It's okay, this is Jen. Put the pistol down,"

Looking skeptically at Jen, Jack did as Marie said and put his pistol away.

"How did this happen?" Jen whispered to her.

"I don't know, he just appeared,"

"Hm..." Jen was checking Jack out. "You think you could make Will appear too?"

---------------

**Author's Note-** The song Marie was singing in the shower is by Panic! at the Disco, and I can't remember exactly which song it is...but anyway...it's theirs, not ours. :-) Reviews are quite welcome.


	3. Macaroni and Rum

**Reality Check**

Chapter Three: _Macaroni and Rum_

---

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Jack, Macaroni and Cheese, Diet Pepsi, System of a Down, or a car. We do however own Jen and Marie. Enjoy.

---

"I'm hungry," said Jen.

"Me too..." added Marie.

"What'll we be eatin', loves?"

Jen and Marie looked at each other with a sudden realization.

"Well...uh...I could make macaroni," Marie shrugged.

"Macaroni?" the pirate questioned.

"Yes. Mac and cheese. You'll like it," Jen smiled and reached her hand forward to pat him on the back, but quickly thought better of it when she remembered what had happened the last time she touched him.

---

"Jack. You wait in this room. DO NOT, by all means, do _not_ enter the kitchen," Marie ordered, ushering Jack to a seat at the dining room table.

The girls went into the kitchen as Jack did as he was told. Marie watched the water as it heated up.

Jen went to the fridge and looked inside. "All you have is Diet Pepsi. I don't think pirates drink diet."

Marie poured the noodles into the pan when the water began to boil. "How long do they cook for? Wait. Seven minutes. I know that."

Jen looked into the fridge again, to no avail.

"How does that box keep the cold within it?" Jack asked, peering over Jen's shoulder at the fridge.

"My God! Jack, I told you NOT to come in here, did I not?" Marie turned around to face the Captain.

"_Pirate_." He replied. He then turned his attention from the refrigerator to the stove. "What is that?"

"This is a stove. It heats things up, like a fire."

"I don't see any fire," he began to reach his hand forward to touch it.

"Don't touch it!" Marie slapped his hand away.

Jack decided to open the oven instead and see what was inside of it. Jen took the opportunity while he was distracted to stand in front of the can-opener and block it from his sight, thinking it wasn't a good idea to have him playing around with that.

"Where did you hide all the rum?" he asked.

"Rum? We don't have rum." Marie said.

He closed the oven door and looked at her, confused. "No rum?"

"We can take him to the liquor store, he's old enough to buy us rum. Himself, I mean. Buy himself some rum." Jen suggested.

"That is a **_bad_** idea. The worst idea I've ever heard actually. For one, he's not really low key. He looks like Johnny Depp, so people will be attracted to him. Also, he's a pirate so he stands out. Plus, cars. Technology. Uh, _bright idea, _Jen."

"Well we can't keep him under house arrest forever."

"Who knows how long he'll even be here for? He could be gone tomorrow."

"_Or _he may never leave. What about your mother?"

"Well she's out of town for the next week, and then I'm off to college soon. Albeit, a dorm isn't the best spot to hide a pirate..."

"Good luck...I say we show him off to the world! _And _he's multifunctional. Not only can he buy us rum—I mean by himself rum—but he can teach us how to swordfight, and how to steal and not get caught, and how to correctly apply eyeliner. And, lets not forget, he was actually alive in the 18th century. This is _so_ much better than the history channel."

"Do I get any say in this?" Jack asked.

"NO," they both replied.

"Everybody would think he was some nutcase!" Marie said. The buzzer went off, causing Jack to jump back. "Don't worry," Marie turned off the buzzer and the stove.

Jen finished up the macaroni and cheese as Marie led Jack back to the table and proceeded to get their drinks.

"Two glasses for Jen and me, and a plastic one for you," Marie gave the cup of Diet Pepsi to Jack.

"This drink is...utterly terrible."

Marie glared at him, "Thank you, Jack."

Jen then gave each of them their bowl of food and a fork, "Jack, this is Macaroni and Cheese...you eat it with a fork like this--"

"I know how to use a fork, love."

"Sorry," Jen sat beside Marie, who was across from Jack.

After a few minutes of eating in silence, Jack spoke. "What is this? It's interesting."

"Good or bad?" Marie asked.

"Good...but not as good as it would be with some rum."

---

Marie sat in the passenger seat of Jen's car with Jack in the back. System of a Down was playing quite loudly and Jack had seemingly taking a liking to it."How did you get me to agree to this?" Marie sighed while Jen sang along to the music.

---

**Author's Note**- Sorry it's been awhile. We're starting school in a few days (Jen starts on Wednesday, I start on Tuesday) so it might be a bit until there's another update but reviews do motivate us to update sooner! So review. :-)


	4. It's Cold Inside

**Reality Check**

_It's Cold Inside_

Marie put her finger on the "SEEK" button and flipped through the radio stations, cutting off Jen who had been singing to the previous song.

"Hey!" Jen yelled.

"Hm?"

"I liked that song, turn it back, will you?"

"Hm…no." Marie continued to flip through the stations until she found something she liked. Jen took her eyes off the road to turn the station back, and Marie began to fight with her over the "SEEK" button.

Jack's eyes grew wide when he saw a car stopping in front of theirs to turn. "Hard to starboard, hard to starboard!" he shouted. Jen screamed while Marie grabbed the steeling wheel and swerved to the right to avoid the car, causing Jack to tumble over in his seat into the window.

"Honestly!" Jen yelled, grabbing a hold of the steering wheel again. "Idiots don't know how to drive…" Marie and Jack stared at the madwoman in the driver's seat in disbelief. Jack had almost decided that he much preferred ships to automobiles, until he discovered the button for the power windows.

The car screeched to a stop in front of Busch's. Jack stared out the window, watching as people walked up to the doors and they opened by themselves.

"How do they do that?" he asked in amazement.

"Magic," Marie replied in a flat voice. "Well...electricity, but as far as I'm concerned it's the same thing."

Jack tilted his head sideways, "Hmm."

---

A female sales clerk walked up to the three from behind, "May I help you?"

"Where's all the rum?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

She smiled at Jack, "Straight at the back of the store."

"Thank you, miss..." he looked at her name tag, "June."

She giggled flirtatiously. Seeing this, Jen began pulling him away from the blonde sales clerk.

Jack pouted for a moment – that was until he remembered what he was looking for. Rum. When they got to the back of the store, Jack went to grab the alcohol, but found that it was encased in glass. Marie laughed and opened the glass door, handing him a bottle of Captain Morgan.

Startled, Jack nearly dropped it. "Why's it so cold?"

"It's called a cooler. It keeps things cool...er."

He opened the door in front of him, feeling a breeze of stale, yet frigid, air. It was then that he looked down at the bottle he'd been handed.

"Captain Morgan...I know him," he grinned. "See, this one time, in Singapore, he--"

"Hey!" a voice called out to the three from a few feet away.

Marie and Jen looked at each other, worried that they were about to get in some sort of trouble.

"Dude, I love the costume," the teenager who called out to them spoke.

Jack looked around confused, "Is he talking to me?"

"Yes. Just nod and smile," Jen told him. Jack furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at the teenager while Marie nudged him toward the checkout counter. She handed him some cash and gave him specific instructions as to how to pay for the rum.

---

"Next time, I drive," Marie said, a little annoyed as Jen drove them home from the store. Jack was looking terrifyingly at the steering wheel and holding onto his beloved rum for dear life.

"Are we there yet?" Jack asked.

"Almost." Jen looked at him through her rear-view mirror. "Don't be opening that yet,"

"Eyes on the road is always a good thing," Marie said to her.

"Aye," Jack replied to Jen.

"Aye? Aye as in you opened it already? Or aye as in okay you won't?" she asked, glancing at him again in the mirror.

"Aye as in – "

"Stop!" Marie yelled. Jen slammed on the breaks, causing Jack to fall forward and drop the bottle.

"The rum!" Jack yelled.

"Will you be careful? We've got precious cargo in the back!" Marie reminded her.

"Jack! Are you okay?"

"Yes, it's alright," he answered her, picking up the bottle and cradling it in his arms. Even though that wasn't exactly the answer to the question she'd asked, Jen looked back at the road and drove the rest of the way home without anymore near-death experiences.

"We're baa-aack," she announced, pulling into the driveway.

"Thank god." Marie got out of the car and opened Jack's door for him. He got out and followed the two girls inside the house, still holding a death grip on the rum.

"I wonder if rum and Pepsi is as good as rum and Coke," Jen was saying as they went into the kitchen.

"Ew, _no. _Coke is sweeter, Pepsi is waterier."

"Hm." Jen put her hands on her hips and looked at Jack. "I think we should do body shots."

"What?"

"Body shots. It's where you – " She stopped when she heard a crash coming from the dining room. "What was that?" she asked Marie, like she would know.

"I don't know…no one else is home,"

"Go find out."

"_You _go find out,"

"It's your house,"

"Then they're after me, not you, so you go find out what it was," Marie told her.

Jen rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath. She walked into the dining room cautiously, and then gasped. Standing there before her was Will Turner.

**Author's Note-** I know it took a really long time, I'm sorry. I moved, and got a new computer. So that's part of why it took so long. Anyway, thanks for reading so far. There's more to come, I promise. And Jen and I do have an ending in mind. Promise. Leave a review please.


	5. What is THAT?

**Reality Check**

_Chapter Five: What is THAT?_

Jack looked at his old friend. "Will...how lovely it is to see you," he smiled, holding his rum closely.

"Can't say the same to you, Jack," came the reply.

Jen and Marie looked at each other, worried. Marie watched as Will drew his sword. "Hey! None of that in the house!"

Will glanced at her for a moment, wondering who she was. His curiosity passed very quickly, however, as he made an attack on Jack.

"Jack doesn't have his sword," Jen worried aloud.

"It's upstairs..."

Overhearing the two girls, Jack made a run for the staircase, but Will beat him to it. Panicking for Captain Jack's life, Jen ran in front of him and blocked him from Will, all the while thinking she would've had a great excuse to body slam him to the ground.

Will kept his sword at the ready and looked around, "Where am I?"

"My house," Marie spoke up. "And don't you ever do that again. You could break something, and then I'd be as good as dead."

"But everything's so...odd. And your accent..."

"_My_ accent?" Marie scoffed. "You're the one with the accent, Will."

"How do you know me?"

---

Will stared down at the rum bottle in his hand. "It's remarkable how small and neat the handwriting on this is," he examined it closely.

Jack sat beside him. "They say it's magic. Like that box over there," he replied, pointing towards the television. "You can see people doing different things, anywhere, anytime."

"What sort of things?"

"_Anything_."

Marie and Jen looked across the room, wondering what the two pirates were talking about.

"As long as they're not fighting or breaking my mother's things, I'm good," Marie peered over at the two.

"I'd be better if they were over here, shirtless, rubbing oil over each other…and me," Jen replied casually.

Marie rolled her eyes at her friend before glancing back over to where the two had been, only to discover that they weren't there anymore. She looked at Jen, panicked. Jen nearly laughed. "What?" Marie asked, before noticing that Jen was looking directly behind her. She turned around to see Jack and Will at the computer, trying to figure it out.

"Why are there all these letters in little boxes and such?" Will sat in the computer chair while looking at the keyboard.

Jack looked down and pushed the "home" key, "It didn't work."

"No. That's not what it does. It's a keyboard, for a computer," Marie sighed, walking over and turning on the monitor.

After a few minutes of tutorial, Jen and Marie had taught them the basics of the computer.

"They get it, yet my grandmother still doesn't get how to save a document in Word," Marie commented to Jen.

"Yes, but she's lacking some common sense."

---

"Elizabeth kissed _me, _I had nothing to do with it. I was just an innocent victim," Jack defended himself.

"And you expect me to believe that?" Will asked. "Why would she kiss _you?" _

"Well evidently it was all part of her plan to _kill me_. While you were climbing into the boat with the rest of the crew, your beloved Lizzie came over to dear old Jack, thanking me for 'being a good man'. Then for no apparent reason she kisses me, I feel her grab my wrist and I see she's got me chained to the ship!"

"She wouldn't…"

"Wouldn't she?"

"She told me you decided to stay behind to give us a chance. She wouldn't lie,"

"Ah…so I decided to sacrifice myself in order to save youand the others, because that's the kind of caring and selfless man I am, eh?"

The more Will thought about it, the more he began to feel betrayed by Elizabeth. For the first time he thought about what had really happened – or at least how it happened according to Jack – Elizabeth chaining Jack to the ship and leaving him there to be swallowed by the Kraken. He felt a headache coming on and rubbed his temples. "Where did the rum go?"

"I'll get it," Jen jumped up, happy to oblige.

Marie turned to Jack and Will and pointed a finger at them. "Don't do anything stupid, we'll be back in two minutes. Want some snacks while we're at it? I've got string cheese,"

"String cheese?" Jack inquired, clicking on the links under Marie's bookmarks list on the internet. He stopped at one of the sites when he happened to see his name and Will's name, and then he scrolled down to see pictures of them. "Hm…"

"Uh huh." Marie hurried down the stairs and went into the kitchen. She saw Jen running half a lime around the rims of two glasses and then dipping them in sugar. "What are you doing?"

"Playing bartender." She proceeded to drop some ice into the cups, fill them with rum, stick a brightly colored paper umbrella into each cup and then top them off with a slice of lime on the rims. After preparing the pirates' drinks, she took a swig of rum herself from the bottle.

"You're ridiculous."

"I'm clever," Jen replied, cringing her teeth a bit at the aftertaste of the rum. "You know, the way they were talking up there it sounds like Elizabeth's on everyone's shit-list. Maybe the guys could use some female comfort,"

Marie rolled her eyes and took a sip of rum. She went over to the fridge and grabbed a handful of string-cheese packets out of the crisper drawer. "Don't even think about it. Stay away from the pirates."

"Yep, whatever you say, Marie…" Jen took the two drinks in her hands and ascended the stairs.

Marie followed her with the string-cheese in her hands, yelling to her back, "I mean it, Jennifer!" When she got to the top of the stairs she saw Jen, Jack, and Will staring at the computer screen. She was about to ask what they were looking at, but figured it out soon enough when she heard moaning and various accompanying sounds coming from the computer's speakers. "What is _that?" _she shrieked.

"Apparently they found porn on your computer," Jen said, still watching the screen, half entertained and half disgusted.

"Get that off my computer! Now!" Marie dropped the string cheese and ran over to the computer to turn off the monitor. Jen held back a laugh and handed Jack and Will their drinks, which they began to inspect suspiciously.

"What is this?" Jack asked her, eyeing the hot pink paper umbrella.

"It's rum."

"What did you do to it?"

"I fancied it up a bit. Go on," she assured them. They went ahead and tasted the rum, but didn't seem to care much for the sugar around the rims of their glasses.

"Lets watch a movie, shall we?" Marie suggested, noticing that it was getting late. "How about The Nightmare Before Christmas?"

---

One movie, a couple drinks, and several string-cheese packets later, Marie, Jen, and the pirates were ready for bed. The girls had made beds on the floor out of blankets and pillows for Jack and Will, and Marie had forbidden Jen to sleep within a five-foot radius of Jack. Marie turned out the light and closed her eyes after finally snuggling down in bed.

Jen decided at that moment to individually wish everyone a good night. "Good night, Jack,"

"Good night, Jennifer," he replied, somewhat awkwardly.

"Good night, Will,"

"Good night, Jennifer," Will said, a bit more pleasantly than Jack.

"Good night, Marie,"

"Jen, just go to sleep," Marie told her.

Jen interrupted the silence once again after a couple minutes. "Marie?"

"What," she asked, a bit annoyed.

"We have to do something about their smell tomorrow."

**Author's Note-**   
So I know people were all excited about this, so yeah. It's up. Jen and I are planning how it's going to end. There's at least two more chapters left. Review. 


	6. Running With Scissors

**Reality Check **

_**Chapter Six: Running with Scissors**_

Marie stretched her arms up over her head and yawned, keeping her eyes shut tight. Groggily, she rubbed her eyes, but then paused - something wasn't right. She no longer heard Jack's snoring or Will's soft breathing, nor did she hear Jen tossing and turning in her sleeping bag like she had done throughout the night. She sat up at once and found their blankets rumpled on the floor with their pillows. She slapped her hand to her forehead, dreading seeing what state her house would be in; she imagined Jen coercing the pirates into teaching her fencing and could see them jumping on the furniture and using the couch cushions as shields. Marie leapt out of bed, nearly tripping when her foot got entangled with her sheet, and ran down the stairs expecting to see the aftermath of an atomic bomb explosion in her house.

And so, she was surprised to discover Jen, Jack, and Will sitting peacefully at the dining room table eating their breakfast like perfectly civilized human beings. Jen had made pancakes with strawberries; her plate was mostly maple syrup with a little pancake and strawberry island in the center, Jack's was a mountain of strawberries with some pancakes hidden beneath them somewhere, and Will had a few strawberries neatly placed on his pancakes with a little drizzle of syrup.

"Oh," Marie said, taken aback at how abnormally normal they were acting.

Jen glanced up at Marie with a mouthful of pancakes. "Morning, sunshine. We saved you some."

"Good morning," Will greeted her.

"Good morning. Are you guys feeling okay?"

"Wonderful, appreciate your concern," Jack said, swiping a couple strawberries from Will's plate while Will was looking at Marie.

Marie fixed herself a plate and sat at the table with them. "I thought you would've made a mess,"

"Us? Make a mess?" Jen asked cluelessly.

"Yes. But of course, what was I thinking? It's not like you're a young girl with raging hormones and no inhibitions whatsoever alone with two very attractive and muscular pirates with swords left to roam around without a babysitter in my house while I sleep."

"Yeah. Well I was thinking - " Jen continued, Marie's comments going in one ear and out the other, " - that we should do something about our smelly little problem today?"

"I just woke up, I'll shower after I eat."

"No, I meant the two attractive and muscular pirates that live on ships and don't have the luxury of soap-on-a-rope or deodorant."

Jack sniffed his armpit, a bit offended. "What is it with women insulting my sense of hygiene? Perhaps you just aren't used to the scent of the male species."

"We can stick them in the kiddie pool and hose them off outside," Marie suggested, ignoring Jack.

Jen grinned.

Marie added, "With their clothes on."

Jen's smile diminished momentarily , "But shouldn't we...wash their clothes?"

"Good point," Marie paused, "They can wear some of my brother's old clothes."

"Pirates in polos and jeans?" Jen's face scrunched up.

Marie got up to rinse her plate off, "Just think of it as a wet t-shirt contest for guys."

----

Jack jumped when the water hit him, "It's cold!"

"Yes," Jen replied.

"It's from underground or something. The sun doesn't hit it, so it doesn't heat up," Marie added.

Jen knelt and grabbed two green bottles out of a bag that she'd placed on the ground.

"Garnier?" Jack read. "It sounds French."

"Don't worry, it's probably made in China. Everything is nowadays, even patriotic stuff," Jen soothed him.

"Knew a man there once...offered me opium."

The girls couldn't help but to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Will looked around confused.

Marie played it out in her head:

_'This is your brain.'  
_

_'An egg?'  
_

_'Yes, an egg. And this is opium.'  
_

_'A...pan?'  
_

_'Yes...and this is your brain on opium...'_

"Drugs are bad, kiddies," Jen stated, startling Marie out of her little daydream. Jen looked at her friend questioningly. "How does one shampoo dreadlocks?"

"Look in the bag," Marie said, her suspicious voice making Jack back away from her.

Jen smiled as she pulled out a pair of scissors, "Perfect."

"My hair," Jack yelped. "No, not my hair. Do you have any idea how long it took to get it like this?"

"We can't very well wash dreadlocks and I'm pretty sure there's something dead in there anyway," Marie slowly stepped towards him.

The kiddie pool was overflowing by this point because Jen had set the running hose in it. The two teens chased Jack in circles around the pool until Marie stopped abruptly, causing Jack to run into the back of her. In that brief moment, Jen took the scissors to his hair and it was done.

"Didn't your mum ever tell you not to run with scissors?" Jack pouted.

"You'll get over it," Marie began shampooing what was left of the pirate's hair. By the time the fiasco was over, they had tied Jack's hair back in the style of Will's, and the pirates had become two pleasantly-scented, slightly less disheveled-looking gentlemen.

---

"Gimmi doubles," Marie whispered to the dice before dropping them.

"Snake eyes," Jen smiled.

"At least they're doubles," Marie moved her piece, the little dog, two spaces.

"Oh...I think that's mine," Will looked through his property cards, but couldn't find _Indiana Ave._

"Jack stole it," Jen looked at Jack's card. "And isn't _Baltic Ave_. yours Marie?"

"Yes, it is!" she took both cards from Jack's possession and gave the respective card to Will.

"Eighteen dollars," Will said.

Marie handed Will the money and looked at Jack, "You're not allowed to steal the cards. That's cheating."

"Pirate."

"There aren't any pirates in Monopoly! There's a dog, a shoe, a thimble..no pirate," Marie glared at him.

"Fine," he rolled the dice.

"Hey! It's still my turn! I had doubles!"

"I have an idea. Who's up for strip poker?" Jen suggested.

"No. No, no, and no, absolutely _not,_" Marie quickly shot her down.

"Why not?"

"What's strip poker?" Will asked innocently.

Jen giggled. "It's - "

"It's not happening," Marie finished for her.

"Well then how about spin-the-bottle?"

Marie thought for a moment, determined not to give into Jen's pouting. She glanced at Will and envisioned herself spinning the bottle and having it point at him. Not too bad of a scenario, she decided. "Fine."

---

"Woo!" Jen screamed with delight after taking her turn at spinning the bottle. The empty rum bottle's nose had landed on Jack, which was one of her dreams come true. The four of them were each on their second or third drink of rum-and-coke - or in Jack's case, just rum - and at this point in the game, everyone had kissed everyone...with the exception of Jack and Will kissing each other, much to Jen's dismay. She cursed the bottle every time Jack or Will spun it and it missed the other by centimeters. Jen eagerly scootched forward, wobbling a couple times from her less than sober state, and got her kiss with Jack, who didn't seem to have any more inhibitions about it than she did.

Will stole a glance at Marie; he had never played a game like this one before, and he had been blushing throughout the entire game, (while Jack, on the other hand, seemed quite at home). But he had to admit, he _was _laughing and enjoying himself.

"Jack's turn!" Marie yelled.

Jack, with a smug and satisfied look on his face, took a gulp of his rum and then spun the bottle. All eyes watched as the bottle spun and spun and then started to slow, and then it stopped.

"YES!" Jen shouted, elated. Marie had her hand over her own mouth, trying not to laugh. Will looked down at the rum bottle, which was pointing directly at him. Jack's smirk turned upside down and Will's jaw dropped to his knees.

"Well, game over," Jack said, cheerily.

"Oh no, you can't do that, you guys have to kiss!" Jen argued.

"Do not,"

"Do too,"

"Do not,"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do _too!_"

"Do too!" Jack tried to fool her.

"Do no-" Jen narrowed her eyes. "Cheater. Anyway, you have to. It's the rules."

"Rules?"

"Yes, it's in the code."

"The code?" Jack asked, skeptical.

"Mhm. The code of...Jean-Michel Armando Pierre Auguste St. Ferdinand Magellan, stating that upon spinning the bottle, the spinner must then kiss the person that said bottle has landed upon, or otherwise suffer a most certain and sudden death by the means of...of a firing squad comprised of monkeys." Jen smiled at her own creative bullshit and hoped that Jack was just intoxicated enough to be persuaded. Marie snorted and laughed, and Will in the meantime looked to be undecided between being horror struck at the thought of kissing Jack and being willing to do so, not because he fantasized about it but because he wanted to play the game fairly.

Jack, who had finally given up and decided 'what the hell', rolled his eyes and took one last gulp of rum. "Fine. But the whelp better keep his tongue in his own mouth unless he wants to swab my deck with it."

Jen laughed, seeing a perverted humor in Jack's previous statement that no one else had noticed. Jack grudgingly leaned forward and Will did the same until their lips met. They both had their eyes shut; Jack's were shut tightly as if trying to block out this embarassing scene, and Will seemed to be quite in the moment. He even attempted to put his hand up to Jack's cheek, but Jack quickly slapped his hand away. Jen and Marie watched in silence with their mouths open.

"Wow...that was even better than I imagined," Jen said, her head cocked to one side. Jack, Will, and Marie simultaneously cast her odd looks. "I hope that happens in _At World's End_,"

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow," Marie replied.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Because what's better than having the boys watch their future on the big screen? Haha, Jen wrote the end 'ere. Yep. I quite enjoyed it. Anyway, I hope you did too. 


End file.
